Sunday, July 31, 2011

{alltv} Photo: Audrina Patridge

{alltv} Photo: Ashley Tisdale

{alltv} 'The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All': Filler, filler everywhere but not a drop to drink

Stop Paying Too Much with!

We've got "Bachelorette" Ashley Hebert and all the bachelors back (minus the final two) for the most boring "Men Tell All" reunion EVER [Chris Harrison dramatic voice].

There is a video montage of the entire season with Ashley talking to Chris Harrison about it. *snore* We shall not be recapping that, even the outtakes. They just aren't that funny. They are filler. You know why they need all this filler? Because this season was boooorrrring.

There's a "Bachelor Pad" sneak peek that has us pretty excited for that trashtastic show to debut in a week. Yippee! So much crying!

Also - we are a quarter of the way into this thing before we even get to the men. Is it 'cause this season was so boring? If it's any indication, the first talk of the men is really slow. Making fun of Drunky Tim and Mask-Wearing Jeff are the highlights, which - we did that eight weeks ago in our recap.

They guys pile on William for ratting out Ben C. on their two-on-one date, but when the guys start in on Ryan and Jeff for being, well, just kind of weird, Nick jumps to their defense, which is nice to see.

William gets his own segment and he certainly seems remorseful for being a jerk to Ashley, saying that he wants Ashley to know that she's great and there was no malice in his comments.

Ryan gets his own segment too and the guys are still a bit in attack mode. Hmm. I wonder why they hate him so much? Just 'cause a guy's a little annoying doesn't mean he's a jerk or something. He says he keeps a journal and Drunky Tim, who doesn't have a leg to stand on in terms of being a good guy on this show, is like, "Oh my god." Shut up, Drunky.

Ames gets a segment - seriously, are they auditioning these guys for next bachelor? Seeing how they play with the audience? Ames seems really nice, but he's uber-boring. Zzzzzzz.

Bentley finally comes up, but he's not even there! If there was one guy I wanted to see the other guys attack like a pack of wild hyenas, it was Bentley. Lame. Drunky Tim gets to say his piece about Bentley, which - why is this guy getting so much screen time?

Lucas says he knows now (having watched it) how open Ashley's heart was to the experience and he can't believe Bentley would treat a woman or even a person like the way Bentley treated Ashley.

And then - Michelle Money is here! Hmm. Still don't like her. "Sense of humor," my ass. But anyway, she tells us what we already knew - Bentley was there to promote his business (which makes no sense) and that he was there to just play a game and not interested in Ashley (which - yes, obviously).

Ashley finally comes out and says it was so hard to watch everyone react to Bentley and then feeling like a fool. Yeah, that would suck. She starts crying a little and says she wasted so much time on Bentley. Aw, Ashley, don't cry.

Ryan, the guy who she ditched twice, is super nice to her and says he's thankful and feels fortunate for getting to spend the time that he did with her. Aww, Ryan. Love him to death.

Now the show trots out Ali, Jason and DeAnna to ... contribute nothing. I mean, they aren't giving Ashley advice. She's done. She's been done filming for weeks. This is silly.

There is then another montage of "funny" outtakes and finally vieo packages for each of the final two guys. Good lord. Seriously, this was the worst "Men Tell All" ever. Bring on the finale tomorrow night, gang.

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