HOLLYWOOD -- The spanking new TV season will soon be upon us, and unlike past years (last fall's Leno Primetime Experiment, anyone?), the slate will be brimming with good-old-fashioned scripted drama.
So that means reality TV, aside from, say Survivor, Big Brother, Biggest Loser, Amazing Race and Apprentices, celebrity or otherwise, have finally run their course, right?
Get real.
Even though it would seem like reality programming has long ago scraped the bottom of the barrel, originality-wise, a whole slew of primetime contenders are nevertheless in the works.
There's a very good reason why reality won't be going away anytime soon.
Sure, they may be creatively bankrupt, but as long as they continue to cost a mere fraction of the budgets necessitated by their scripted, filmed counterparts, networks will continue to snatch them up.
We kid you not about one currently being pitched by Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston that will be based around their parenting skills, but that's high art compared with some of the stuff currently on the look-out for willing participants.
Take the tentatively titled, Neighborhood Expert, for example, a TV pilot that was recently scoping out masculine, big, burly men "preferably with facial hair" and including biker types, mountain men, tough guys, body builders and blue-collar types.
The angle?
Highly-opinionated, big personalities who love giving their advice to others.
Then there's Untitled Bug Show, a documentary reality cable series which has been casting a wide net with the following pitch: "Are you AFRAID of insects? Do you scream and run in fear when roaches or spiders come near? Do you wish you didn't have this reaction every time a bug is in your way? Looking for real bugaphobes who reside in the Sacramento area to receive a free treatment from a psychologist who specializes in animal phobias."
Hmmmm "¦but would I be willing to share my paralyzing fear of silverfish with the rest of the world?
Meanwhile, producers of a new TLC reality series were recently scouting around for couples and families dogged by serious pet problems, such as, "Has the family dog tried to bite you or your children? Does your dog pee on the floor? Growl for no reason? Eat blankets or shoes? Let our Dog Guru to the stars help you."
Elsewhere in production are reality shows that pretty much speak for themselves, like I'm Married but I Want to be Single, which has been luring prospective fed up spouses with a per-couple payment of $1,000 plus mysterious "perks."
But none capture the imagination quite like 101 Ways to Leave a Game Show.
The latest attempt by ABC to recapture those Who Wants to Be A Millionaire (Regis edition) glory days, the pop culture and general knowledge trivia game show is produced by the same company responsible for Deal or no Deal and Fear Factor.
The way it works is, prospective contestants with current American passports will be flown to Argentina next month for a chance to win $50,000.
Those who happen to answer incorrectly, however, "will experience one of the 101 ways to leave a game show forever."
Argentina, huh? Wasn't that where all those folks disappeared during the Dirty War?
Yikes!
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