Impurities have been detected in True Blood.
The show still runs in our veins, admittedly. We remain emotionally invested.
But the third season -- which ends tonight on HBO Canada -- has been clotted.
A summary of our frustrations:
- Too many characters. Specifically, too many pointless characters.
- Too many dream sequences.
- Too much gratuitous gore.
n And because of all that, not enough time has been spent on the story lines we actually care about.
The first point on our list probably is the biggest complaint, with new vampires and werewolves and shape-shifters showing up virtually every week, at least though the first two-thirds of the season.
The one new character we have liked is the vampire king of Mississippi, Russell Edgington, played by Denis O'Hare. A tad over-the-top, yes, but every season needs a villain, and he has fulfilled that role quite nicely.
But why introduce all those silly werewolves, who now are just gone, apparently?
Even though we still like Jason (Ryan Kwanten), True Blood is no richer for the addition of Crystal (Lindsay Pulsipher) and her weirdo family of hillbillies. And even though we still like Sam (Sam Trammell), True Blood is no richer for the addition of his weirdo family of hillbillies.
Also, have you noticed how every scene involving Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and his new boyfriend Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) brings the proceedings to a screeching, grinding halt?
As for the main trio, there's still intrigue to the love/hate triangle between Sookie (Anna Paquin), Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgard). Funny aside, though: A female cousin of mine recently said, "I'm sick of seeing Anna Paquin's boobs. They aren't that nice."
Speaking of Eric, we have no complaints about his prodigy Pam (Kristin Bauer) being more front-and-centre.
But what to do about terrible Tara, arguably the most annoying character in TV history?
Tara's entire season: Terrified, angry, horny. Terrified, angry, horny. Terrified, angry, horny.
Perhaps Rutina Wesley, who plays Tara, isn't capable of doing anything else. We aren't sure. But whether it's the writers' fault or Wesley's fault, please, this has to stop.
There still is much to admire about True Blood, but the pie has been cut into such tiny pieces.
We need to see more of Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Hoyt (Jim Parrack) and Hoyt's creepy mom (Dale Raoul) and the girl she encouraged to lead her son back into the sunlight (Melissa Rauch). Notably, Rauch also played Howard Wolowitz's girlfriend on The Big Bang Theory.
We need to see more of Andy Bellefleur (Chris Bauer). Andy and Jason are hilarious together, but we barely have tapped that well.
Despite reeking of death, the world of True Blood is dangerously over-populated. A main character has to die, to raise the stakes.
We have our own candidate (the name rhymes with Lara). But regardless of who it is, something must be done to thin this thundering herd.
Oh God, we shouldn't have said thundering herd. Now True Blood will add a shape-shifting buffalo next season.
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