Sunday, September 5, 2010

{alltv} Top Five Real N.J. Housewives Problems

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Teresa Guidice sure seems to be in the news a lot lately. Not only have her financial woes become water-cooler chat, but earlier this week she went on the record with a celebrity rag to deny another tabloid's claim that her husband Joe had cheated on her.

But, as we know, Guidice isn't the only one who's had problems since the Real Housewives of New Jersey launched last year. Here, just in time for tomorrow's second part of this season's cuss-filled reunion, we take a trip down the New Jersey Turnpike memory lane...

1. Sex: Danielle Staub maintains her sex tape was private. Even so, she signed off on the adult-themed video's distribution after settling lawsuits she filed against the ex-boyfriend who originally put it on the market. Danielle's ex-husband, Kevin Maher, also characterized her as a "nymphomaniac" in a deposition he gave for a defamation suit he's launched against her. Oh, did we mention that Danielle also celebrated her birthday earlier this summer at a strip club?

2. Money: Teresa and Joe Guidice filed for bankruptcy after a lawyer told them they were—gulp!—$11 million in debt. Teresa has said Joe never told her about their dwindling bank account because he was hoping the real estate business would pick up. But now, she insists the Guidices are living within their means. Their daughters are even wearing each other's hand-me downs. New Jersey Housewives—they're just like us?!

3. Children: Jacqueline's daughter Ashley was charged with simple assault and was fined $189 because of the now infamous brawl at the New Jersey Country Club in Wayne, N.J., in which she allegedly threatened to kill Danielle while pulling out a chunk of her extensions.

Caroline's youngest son, Chris, wants to open a combo car wash and strip joint. Depending on who you're talking to, that could be a problem. However, his older brother Albi's career aspirations took a hit when he flunked out of law school. Albi has apparently suffered from learning disabilities for most of his young life. Even so, he says he's determined to fulfill his dream of becoming a lawyer.

4. Hometown: The Country Club mentioned above has banned the Housewives cast from its premises after the cuss-filled, weave-yanking theatrics mentioned above. Club president Joe Stanley wrote in a letter to members that his decision to allow them to film there was a "lapse in judgment."

He also said, "Further, these women do not represent the people and families of our many neighboring towns or the population of the great state of New Jersey."

5. Gay: We'll get to self-proclaimed Lesbian Superstar Lori Michaels in a second, but first remember when Danielle scolded Teresa's husband for making a gay slur? Sadly, she didn't make the same fuss when her knucklehead friend Danny taunted Chris Manzo by calling him "faggot" during the Country Club fiasco.

Perhaps things are different now, seeing that Danielle has no problem hanging out with—and maybe even dating—Lesbian Superstar Lori Michaels.

As for some of the others, they just wrapped up a gig costarring in Off-Broadway's My Big Gay Italian Wedding. But not to worry, producers have already announced they'll return for some nights next month.

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