{alltv} Merciless humor, cute kids and controversy at the Globes

Free-flowing Moet & Chandon, a cozy venue that encourages elbow-rubbing and a return host, Ricky Gervais, who issued this pre-show warning: "Let's see how far I can go this time." Judging by how his taste-testing remarks earned more groans than laughs through the night, most of the celebs in the crowd might say, "Too far."

Still, the giddy Golden Globes telecast is the party that some wish the self-important Oscar ceremony could be. The 68th edition's highlights — and a few lowlights:

Biting the hand. Here's hoping the 85 or so members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association have developed a thick skin after years of suffering the slings and arrows of the media types who regularly question their legitimacy as bestowers of trophies.

Gervais took the first swipe at the group behind the glitzy shindig while mocking the nomination of The Tourist, a notorious flop. "I'd like to squash this ridiculous rumor going round that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so the Hollywood Foreign Press could hang with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is rubbish." Then came the zinger: "That is not the only reason — they also accepted bribes," he joked, referring to recent allegations of attempts to sway voters with free trips and expensive gifts.

Another chomp. Then Christian Bale, supporting-actor winner for The Fighter, threw a left-handed jab of a compliment about the organization into his thank-you speech. "I never knew who those guys were," he said of the HFPA, recalling how members would argue among themselves while they were supposed to be interviewing him. "Suddenly, I realize how wise and spectacular and perceptive those guys really are."

Mark Wahlberg, entertainment emperor. While the HFPA couldn't get any respect, the former Marky Mark got plenty of props as a producer from Fighter co-star Bale, who gave him a shoutout, as well as from the team behind HBO's Boardwalk Empire, best dramatic series.

Cutest couple.True Grit's Hailee Steinfeld, 14, might have stood a good several inches over pop prince Justin Bieber, 16, as they presented the award for animated feature. But who didn't smile when they announced the title in unison, "Toy Story 3." Even the film's director, Lee Unkrich, was taken by the young pair. "Were you two even born when the first Toy Story came out?" Answer: The Biebs was born in 1994, the year before its release.

Next year's host? Ever-charming bad boy Robert Downing Jr. — presenting best actress in a comedy or a musical — struck just the right self-deprecating note while teasing the honorees in the category. First he won over the crowd by succinctly summing up the unfortunate mood of the show up until then, saying, "Aside from the fact that it has been hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister overtones, I'd say the vibe of the show has been pretty good so far, wouldn't you?"

Then he proceeded to offer this insight: "I don't know if an actress can do her best work until I've slept with her." He managed to proposition each one of them — including winner Annette Bening, while husband Warren Beatty sat nearby, smiling all the while.

In praise of talented women. Wordsmith supreme Aaron Sorkin, winner of best screenplay for The Social Network, injected much-needed class into the proceedings during his acceptance speech. "I want to thank all the female nominees tonight for demonstrating to my daughter that elite is not a bad word," he said, perhaps partly in defense of his Facebook origin story, which has been characterized by a few pundits as anti-women. "It's an aspirational word. Honey, take a look around — smart girls have more fun, and you're one of them. I love you."

A 'Glee'-ful, and truthful, victor. That would be Jane Lynch, who took supporting-actress TV honors while declaring, "I am nothing if not falsely humble." She generously acknowledged Ian Brennan, the writer responsible for creating her cheerleader coach-slash-terrorist Sue Sylvester.

De Niro in rare form. Who spiked Robert De Niro's bubbly with giggle juice? The normally terse winner of the Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award probably scored a higher laugh count than Gervais. For one, he knows timing is everything. As he told the HFPA, "I was very, very moved and gratified when you made the announcement two months ago — well before you had a chance to review Little Fockers."

Love birds?Natalie Portman, who took home the drama prize for Black Swan, paid homage to her co-star, with whom she shared a sizzling sex scene on-screen, by granting her a nickname: Mila "Sweet Lips" Kunis.

What the bleep? Few would bet that Barney's Version star Paul Giamatti, a surprise winner for best actor in a comedy or musical, would end up bedeviling the censors with salty language. But he did have an excuse: "I'm a little jacked up. I just ate five boxes of free Godiva chocolates. ... I've never seen so many Godiva chocolates — and Halle Berry."

A cure for 'manopause.' The Globes are good for something, at least according to Colin Firth, winner for his dramatic work in The King's Speech. Namely, warding off a midlife crisis. Gazing fondly at his statue, he said, "Right now, this is all that stands between me and a Harley-Davidson."

An emotional finale. The reception was a rousing one for Michael Douglas, who recently declared himself to be cancer-free, as he presented the best-drama award to The Social Network. "There's got to be an easier way to get a standing ovation," he said before adding, "I'm really, really happy to be here tonight."