{alltv} Spartacus Episode 3: Things That Made Us Go "Ew!"

Friday, February 4, 2011

{alltv} Spartacus Episode 3: Things That Made Us Go "Ew!"

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On Friday's Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, the surprise return of daddy Titus meant that Batiatus was caught partying with his tunic down.

And Titus was just a bummer all around. The orgies had to stop (or at least there was a hiatus), Gannicus got pulled from the Primus and Auctus got killed. Well, at least Crixus finally earned his mark through merit (not like those Syrians) and Melitta was spared another naked party demonstration.

But what about those "Ew!"-worthy moments?

The Violence - Body count: 1. Sad to say, but we're almost desensitized. Crixus' final victory over Auctus -- stabbing him through the torso -- was rather anticlimactic without the usual sprays of blood. Also, it was bittersweet considering Auctus' death was witnessed by his boyfriend Barca. Such is ancient Rome. We weren't thrilled to see Oenomaus get backhanded during a tussle either, but later, that arc of blood hitting the female audience member in the face during the tournament was artfully done. The one scene that made us really wince was an earlier training confrontation at the ludus, when Barca not-so-gently handled Crixus' family jewels. Ouch!

The Vulgarity - Total scenes: 2.5. Batiatus sipping from the waterfall of wine spilling down Gaia's exposed body while Lucretia watched was rudely interrupted by that killjoy Titus. What does he have against fun? In contrast, the threesome that resulted from Lucretia trying to save Melitta a repeat-humiliation was just wretched and gross. The domina offered up one of her virgin slaves to Varrus' smarm-meister friend Cossutius, who roughly deflowered her with the help of a gladiator chosen specifically for his filthiness. Less explicit but no less horrifying was Cossutius' hands-on way of choosing Diona over Naevia. We feel unclean just from watching.

The Victuals - We don't care if it's only implied: Pee in the porridge is not cool. It's nasty and a waste of food. Less wasteful but kind of cruel was Ashur's revenge against Auctus: Eating the seasoned gladiator's pet birds (seasoning optional).

Which scene turned your stomach the most?