Drop your voice and provide as much pretentious sentimentality as you can when you say this next sentence:
"Coming up ... a very special Mike & Molly."
As a new hit sitcom, Mike & Molly - which airs Mondays on CBS and CTV - has a lot of heart. But co-stars Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy understand that too much heart can make a sitcom sucky.
"If it gets too sweet, then it's like ... well, you don't want, 'A very special Mike & Molly,' " said McCarthy, dropping her voice appropriately for full comic impact. "No one needs that. It's a comedy.
"But I love when you don't know where something's going. Yes, you want to watch something a little heightened, but in real life, one minute you're laughing, then somebody says something and you're kind of offended, then you're laughing again, then you're upset."
Sounds like everyone's home videos, doesn't it?
"When I get the scripts, I'll think, 'I didn't see that coming,' just stuff you can't believe is coming out of anyone's mouth," McCarthy continued. "But then the next minute, Billy's character can look at me and say one thing, and it kind of breaks my heart.
"Give me a little surprise, that's why I'm watching something."
Speaking of surprise, Mike & Molly has provided more than its share since debuting in September.
First of all, for those (yours truly included) who feared the show simply might be a series of fat jokes - Mike (Gardell) and Molly (McCarthy) initially meet at an Overeaters' Anonymous gathering - the chubby humour only occasionally peppers the story lines, rather than drenching them.
"There's an irony that slowly is unfolding with this show," Gardell said. "(The two lead characters) are flawed people, but they actually are the ones who have their s--- together the most."
Second of all, viewers were spared the usual sitcom song-and-dance of, "Are they just friends? Is this a date? How long until she sees that he likes her?"
Mike and Molly are two grownups who basically said to each other, "I'd like to be in a relationship. Let's try to make this work." The show has its juvenile scenes, but the budding relationship refreshingly is not juvenile.
"We get those Honeymooners moments," Gardell said. "It was always fun watching Ralph screw up, but the thing that kept you coming back was when he said to Alice, 'You're the greatest.' That's the moment. The chaos alone doesn't do it."
McCarthy said the best thing about working with Gardell is, "He is one of the kindest men I've ever met. On top of that, he's incredibly talented. And maybe the best thing is, he doesn't know either one of them."
And the oddest thing?
"He's the loudest human being I've ever met," McCarthy said. "I am not a quiet woman, but Billy makes me look like a little church mouse."
Okay, Billy, same two questions.
"The most wonderful thing about working with Melissa is her trust, her comic instinct and her professionalism," Gardell said. "And there's nothing odd about her."
Smart man, Billy, smart man.
The ratings for Mike & Molly suggest that, in a world where mean comedy abounds, there's still room for warm comedy about love and friends and family and feelings.
"You can write a million stories on that," McCarthy said. "It doesn't have to be, 'There's a talking tiger!'
"I'm going to pitch that next year. That's what the 'very special Mike & Molly' will be.' We adopt a baby tiger."
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