When it comes to getting The Bachelor's attention, you know what they say: If all else fails, just punch yourself in the face!
It seemed to work for hairstylist Michelle in this week's never-ending episode of The Bachelor (ABC/Citytv). OK, so maybe there's no proof the uber-needy bachelorette was responsible for the black eye she mysteriously woke up with. But since no one else (not even Chantal O.) decked her, and no other explanation was made, one can only assume that — given her obsession with getting a one-on-one date and stalker-ish demeanour — Michelle might have had something to do with her own shiner.
Still, Bachelor Brad Womack makes her wait it out while he first takes her nemesis Chantal O. out for a leisurely deep-sea dive and late-night makeout session.
No stranger to hand-face contact herself, Chantal apologizes to Brad for slapping him on their first meeting. Godknowswhy. It's not like Brad minded (he likes a gal who can keep him in line). And the "shocking" slap is, sadly, still the juiciest moment this season has seen.
Michelle is granted even more time to cake her eye with concealer when Brad takes some girls on a group date. This week's producers-were-drunk-when-they-came-up-with-this-date-plan? A trip to the Loveline radio show hosted by Dr. Drew and some other dude. Am I the only one who instantly cuddles up for a nap whenever Dr. Drew speaks? His voice is so therapeutic, it makes people forget all of their problems because they're too busy drifting ... off ... to ... sleep ...
Oops! OK, back now — and just in time for Ashley H. to get her bikini bottoms in a knot because Brad keeps making out with other girls. No way!
The dental hygien — oops, I mean, dentist — even forces him to give the rose intended for her to another girl (Britt, who's suddenly in the picture) when she mouths off in the hot tub. Hmm, wonder if Ashley H.'s lack of better judgment has something to do with that wine glass she's waving around. And they let her use a drill?
Better her than Michelle, I guess. Which leads me to question time: Which bachelorette would you rather have come at you with a drill — Michelle or Ashley H.? (tweet me your answer at twitter.com/lindsward).
It looks like Michelle is going to give Bachelor Brad a black eye when he tells her they're spending their one-on-one date rappelling down a skyscraper (be careful what you wish for, missy!).
But much to everyone with a soul's disgust, her Spidey senses kick in and they wind up having a blast in a death-defying "romantic" moment all too similar to the one Jake and Vienna had when they bungee-jumped last season. And unless you've been living under a snowbank, you'll know that's NOT a good thing.
Michelle further lures Brad in with champagne, kisses and the promise that he could meet her daughter. He's going to have a tough time getting away from her now. Perhaps going down without a harness might have been the safer bet in this particular circumstance ...
At least he makes it out of their date alive, and to his weekly pre-rose ceremony session with his therapist. No, not Dr. Drew ... and yet ... I feel ... so ... sleep ...
Oh look, it's the cocktail party! Chantal O. is sad because she's falling in love — something you should only appear to do, not actually do, on this show. And Brad is handing out the roses, leaving Ashley H. to sweat it out until the very last bloom. That'll teach her!
Who's left dressed up with no place to go but home? Meghan ("It's a blow to the ego."), Stacey ("I'm sick of dating.") and Lindsay ("I think my dad is going to be so proud of me." WTF?!). It's all part of the weeding process, ladies.
Up next: It's off to Las Vegas, baby, for a close encounter with the circus, a traumatic trip to the track and catfights galore. Purr-fect ... black eyes all around!
Entertainment Plaza - TV, Movies, Sports, Music
http://members.shaw.ca/almosthuman99
Babe Of The Month
http://members.shaw.ca/almosthuman99/babeofthemonth.html
Hunk Of The Month
http://members.shaw.ca/almosthuman99/babeofthemonthman.html
No comments:
Post a Comment