Wednesday, August 17, 2011

{alltv} 'Big Brother 13': The 'humilitard' and the POV ceremony

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When we last left off with the "Big Brother 13" hamsters, Daniele had nominated Shelly and Adam. What will happen with POV? If you want to jump on the live feeds, it's not too late to sign up for the live feeds - we suspect an endurance comp coming tomorrow night.


Rachel preens about her and Brendon not being on the block. Don't count your chickens, Red. Meanwhile, Shelly is not happy and immediately talks to Daniele, who assures her Brendon is the target. Shelly is on board with that.

Shelly goes to Rachel and says their alleged three-person deal (Brendon, Rachel and Shelly for final three) has made the rounds because Porsche told everybody - because she heard it from Rachel. Porsche says Rachel said that Shelly approached them about final three, but Rachel didn't trust Shelly, so there was no deal. The editors do have a clip of Shelly asking them if they'd consider taking her to final three, which isn't exacccctly the same thing. Rachel then says Shelly wanted to vote out Jordan, which I don't think I buy. Shelly loves Jordan. Jordan doesn't know who to believe.

That night, Shelly tells J&J and Adam that she's done playing the game with people like Brendon and Rachel. Shelly rails in the DR about people who lie and while I suppose she hasn't exactly been lying, she's certainly been telling both sides of the house what the other side is doing, which doesn't exactly give her a stone to cast.

The Veto Ceremony

Daniele, Shelly and Adam draw Jordan, Kalia and Jeff to play for POV. Daniele is pleased, since neither Brendon nor Rachel gets to play.

*The America's Vote interlude is for the Have-Nots and it's either A) Beets and bologna, B) Dates and durian or C) Hard-boiled eggs and jalapenos. OK, none of those are bad. Durian is a fruit that has a fairly offensive odor, but it tastes fine.*

The competition is farm-themed, which is fun. It's a giant game of bags (I will not call it cornhole, sorry). Jordan is right that Jeff looks like a boy band member from the 90s in his farmer get-up. Seriously - he wants to sex you up, Jordan. All night.

The game is tossing bean bags into a hole for one point. If you miss the hole, your bag falls on a random number. You want the lowest score, the highest is out each round. And it's one where they draw for prizes and the people later get to keep the prize they get or exchange. Fun.

In round one, Jeff gets 5, Adam gets 13, Jordan gets 7, Shelly misses the board (which means she has the highest score, negating Adam's enormous 13), Kalia gets 11 and Daniele gets a hole-in-one. So Shelly is out and draws the POV.

In round two, Adam gets 9, Jordan gets 13, Kalia gets 9, Daniele gets a hole-in-one again and Jeff gets 9, so Jordan's out. She draws 24 hrs solitary confinement (which includes a phone call from home), so Jordan takes it. She wants to talk to her mom. but then she remembers about Shelly's daughter and she switches for the POV. Um, wait, what?!

Shelly crying in the DR says Jordan gave up the most precious thing for her. Well, she didn't have her family killed, dude. Plus - you gave up VETO! I mean, chances are not good she would've held on to it, I guess. Still. Hmm. I suppose if you know you aren't going to get to keep the POV, that phone call would be pretty nice. OK, I see why she did it, but it's still kind of annoying. She just hands the POV over to Jordan like it's no big deal, which is not good game play, to me. Anyway.

In round 3, Kalia gets 7, Daniele gets another hole-in-one (wow!), Jeff gets a 3, Adam gets a hole-in-one, so Kalia is out and draws a Caribbean vacation, which she keeps. Rachel snots, "There goes our honeymoon" on the sideline. I love how she acts like if they don't win "Big Brother," they can't have her dream wedding or that that was their honeymoon. She and Brendon are not hobos living under the bridge, y'all. I'm having a perfectly wonderful dream wedding in two weeks for way, way less than the "Big Brother" prize.

Jeff decides he really does not need to win the POV at this point, while Adam is asking him to let him win. Daniele tells Jeff Brendon is the target, she then gets a 13 and Jeff gets a 3. Adam gets a hole-in-one. Daniele draws a Veto Ticket, which lets her play in next week's POV automatically. Daniele eyes the Caribbean vacation, but Kalia DRs that if she had taken it, it would've been a hoedown - because a 'ho would've been down. Heee. In the end, Dani keeps POV - I would have too, that could be really advantageous next week.

In the last round, Jeff gets an 8 and does not miss the hole-in-one very convincingly. Up 'til now he had legitimately missed, but that one was pretty obvious. Adam lands on 7 and wins POV. Well, actually, Jeff draws $5,000 (so that's $15000 for him altogether) and Adam gets the "humilitard," which he gives to Jordan for the POV.

Brenchel are not happy about Adam's win.


Rachel thinks she should go on the block, but Brendon wants to do it instead. In the DR, Rachel misuses "Brendon and I." Do you think that's 'cause she thinks she's smarter than she really is? I do.
Jeff talks to Daniele and says he'd rather see Rachel go, but Daniele says Brendon is way too good at comps. I understand where Jeff is coming from - Brendon is a person in real life I actually like, he's very cool. Rachel is ... very grating and unstable, pretty much like on the show.

Shelly starts her 24-hour confinement. It's pretty miserable in the Have-Not room, with a toilet in the corner and bread and slop. Jordan gets her "humilitard." It's green with "I'm with stupid" and an arrow pointing up printed in pink, with a pink tutu and a beanie cap with a propeller. It actually looks really effing cute on Jordan. Of course it does. Jeff calls it "cute as a stupid little button," which I believe is affectionate and not mean.

Meanwhile, Dani and Kalia celebrate in the HOH room about a four-person deal they have with Brenchel. Daniele says she feels very accomplished. Um, you are not a Carnegie Hall violinist or a surgeon or whatever. Let's not get carried away. Also, how does this work with Brendon being the target?

Shelly gets her phone call from Josie and her husband Tony and it has my cold black heart melting. I really think this show would be the worst for that. You are SO cut off. In "Survivor," it's at most 39 days and there are cameramen all around. In "Big Brother," not so much, plus at this point, they've been in the house for like 50 days and in sequester for pushing 60. That's a long time.

Shelly has a really ugly cry face, but that's OK, so do I. Josie is adorable with her little pigtails and her "I love you." Geez. I'm a mess. What is wrong with me?

The POV Ceremony

Brenchel talk to Daniele about the nominations, arguing that Jeff is racking up money and isn't as loyal as they are. Hmm. If I were her, I'd target Brendon or Rachel. They are WAY stronger in comps than J&J.

Adam naturally uses the POV on himself (Shelly looks really pretty with her straight hair, half up, did anybody else notice that?). Daniele names ... Brendon to the block. Interesting.

Who do you think has the votes to stay? I'm pretty sure Shelly will. Also, fingers crossed for an endurance HOH tomorrow night!

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