You can be a jerk, a geek, a slacker or a straight-up @$$hole, and chances are you'd still be able to land a women easier than a guy who's labeled a creep.
Seriously, there's nothing worse than being called "creepy" — and after this week's episode of The Bachelorette, there isn't a better word to describe deluded ad exec Kasey.
What starts off as a fun trip to the Big Apple — the starting point for single gal Ali Fedotowsky and her 11 remaining bachelors' world tour (what are they, The Beatles?) — quickly turns into an episode of The Twilight Zone, when Kasey becomes the lucky recipient of a one-on-one date.
A first date involving a chopper ride over New York City could make anyone fall in love, but Kasey is overly smitten. He's improvising ballads — and lacks the chops to get past the first audition round of American Idol (though he does remind me of one of those angry contestants who bodyguards have to restrain when Simon tells them their act is rubbish).
By the time they get to the Museum of Natural History for a night tour, Ali admits Kasey is "being a little cheesy" and says she wants him to be real. Newsflash, Ali: This IS his version of real, and you should run ... Fast!
But wait — there's a rose at stake! And it's in a glass display that I don't think Ali's about to break. Was that an eye roll? Wow, she doesn't only seem disinterested; she seems ticked. And while she's not busting out that rose, she assures Kasey she doesn't want him to leave. Yet.
Perhaps Kasey and his singing voice would have been better off on the group date, where the guys get to audition for a performance of Broadway's The Lion King. Jesse is the only one who can carry a tune, but Ali picks Roberto who, let's face it, is going to look as hot as the African sun in that shirtless costume. The guys watch in envy as she and Robbie are suspended above the stage during Can You Feel the Love Tonight, and fight to grab her attention after the final bows. The outlook is especially not good for Jonathan the Weatherman, who's not about to get any QT with Ali. Meanwhile, the poor girl's sore throat has turned into a full-fledged head cold — a common side-effect of having to listen to grown men whine.
Finally, it's Kirk who steps in to save the day by demanding she head to her hotel room to rest — and she is so relieved at that thought (and the fact that it'll get her out of handing out a rose), she gets him to tuck her in. OK, and they make out a little — so expect Kirk to be sick by next episode.
Ditto Chris L., who spends his one-on-one date — which is also his birthday — up in Ali's germ-infested room sucking back chicken noodle soup. Miraculously, Ali feels well enough a few hours later to go out for a romantic dinner and take in a rooftop serenade by Joshua Radin — who's apparently famous enough for Ali to worship, but not recognizable to the average Bachelorette fan (or at least, myself). OK, and they also make out a little — so expect Chris L.'s flute to also be full of cough syrup instead of champagne at the next cocktail party.
Anyways, back in the Twilight Zone, Kasey has gone and gotten himself a tattoo of a shield over a heart with a rose on his wrist to prove to Ali that he is indeed a genuine guy — and not just a bumbling balladeer who talks like Shakespeare.
Um, but dude, getting a tattoo — albeit one without her initials — is not sincere; it's psychotic. And, dare I say, creepy.
He lies to the guys and says he burned himself, but truly genuine Torontonian Justin isn't buying it. Soon enough, Justin uncovers the obvious secret and Kasey becomes the first man to get a tattoo in honour of the woman he has yet to win over in Bachelorette history. Ever!
The saddest part of all is Kasey doesn't even get a chance to show Ali — whose flute is full of something that really does look like cough syrup — the ink before the rose ceremony.
And since she didn't give him a rose on their one-on-one, why would she give it to him now? That's the question I keep asking myself as she proceeds to pin the final boutonniere on him — and leaves adorable-yet-dull Jesse and the Weatherman (who had accurately predicted his demise) with empty lapels. So that means Kasey will be back. And yes, that's a threat.
Up next: Ali takes the guys to Iceland, where Kasey could actually burn himself if he gets too close to a volcano. And I know at least eight guys who are hoping he might.
No comments:
Post a Comment