BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Courtesy of the creators of Glee, here's a quick preview of some of the snappy dialogue Sue Sylvester will be saying in the second season:
"I secretly hope you're in the middle of a mid-life crisis, William, as that means you're halfway to an early death, affording me a blissful, demented convalescence spent peeing on your grave."
You know, writing like that would be sort of funny if anyone said it.
But it's really, really funny when you can imagine Jane Lynch - who plays Sue - saying it.
Lynch was not in the original Glee pilot, but network executives told series mastermind Ryan Murphy that he "needed a villain."
Murphy and his cohorts subsequently created a character on the page that they summed up this way: "Probably posed for Penthouse; definitely on horse estrogen."
It was that description, actually, that got Lynch's attention.
"You guys, this is so surreal, I don't even know what to say," the Emmy-nominated Lynch said of all the acclaim she has received for her portrayal of a bully cheerleading coach on Glee.
"I'm greatly flattered that I got to put on that track suit, you know? I'm very lucky."
When asked why Sue has caught on so well, Lynch suggested it's the character's unique aura of comedic menace.
"I think she's so evil that she's comic," Lynch said. "She's not dangerous. But she's a warrior, and everywhere she looks, she's looking for trouble."
Is Sue Sylvester a bad person?
"No, that's why people can like her," Lynch said. "I don't think she's evil. I think she's in her own movie."
Lynch added that when fans meet her on the street, rather than expecting Lynch to be caustic, "They laugh. They say, 'You are so mean,' and then they laugh.
"I think it's that nobody is afraid of her. She's benign. She's a benign danger."
Sue will have a new target in the second season of Glee, which kicks off Sept. 21 on Fox and Global. And "kicks off" really is an appropriate term, since it's a female football coach that offends Sue's sensibilities.
More preview dialogue:
"A female football coach is like a male nurse, Will. It's a sin against nature."
However, that doesn't mean Sue will be easing up on glee-club coach Will Schuester, played by Matthew Morrison.
"We (Will and Sue) have to join forces, but he's such a wuss, he's never able to go in there with the velocity that I have," Lynch said.
"This female football coach has an Achilles heel. She actually has a heart, and I get in there and try to crush it."
Glee went into its first season with no expectations, and even some cynicism (yours truly included). But the show's faults have been masked by its charm, and the goal now is continuing the momentum in Season No. 2.
Murphy said he was approached by Fox about being a judge on American Idol, but he presumably said no (never say never, we suppose, the longer that drags out). But whatever happens, we hope Sue Sylvester never loses her spunk.
Even though Lynch seems so nice in person, she assures us she always can call upon her inner self for inspiration.
"Oh, I'm not that nice," Lynch said. "I don't have to dig that deep to find (Sue).
"You know when you get in a bad mood and you're looking for everything to be wrong? She lives that way."
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